As a disclaimer, EnvisionCo Blog is reader-supported. Some links on this site are for additional informational purposes whereas some others are affiliate links (don't worry, these will be clearly marked as such). When you click through an affiliate link on our site and sign-up for a service or finalize a purchase, we may earn affiliate commissions. This of course is at no additional cost to you. Additionally, EnvisionCo Blog is for informational and educational purposes only and is in no way intended to be a substitute for financial advice by a registered certified financial planner, medical advice by a qualified physician, or therapy by a trained mental health professional.
Our brains are naturally programmed to seek out what we believe will bring us happiness. When we achieve or obtain those things, we experience a rush of positive, pleasurable emotions. Over time, this reinforces the belief that certain things will make us feel good, motivating us to pursue them repeatedly. I can't tell you how many times I have had coaching or therapy clients share their desire to just be happy. Just a little dose of happiness. As we explore together, we find that there are certain things that they are doing in their lives that are blocking them from their objective of finding their happy. Let's get into it. Here are 4 things you have to let go of if you want to be happier.
Let It Go...Other People's Emotions
Have you ever felt guilty or gotten blamed for how someone else is feeling? Yes, it happens to the best of us. We are human. We say the wrong things. We do the wrong things. Sometimes these things influence how someone feels. For example, that family member that always hits you up for money has just gotten the shock of their lives when you finally tell them no. He or she may be understandably disappointed. Even so, you are not responsible for their feelings, any more so than they are responsible for yours. He or she may become disappointed, but their disappointment is not your responsibility to manage. I hate to say it, but we have it a little twisted in society. Other people's happiness? Not your responsibility. Other people's sadness? Again, not your responsibility. Now this is not to say that we cannot hurt people, because as long as you keep living you both can and will hurt someone. This is not to say we shouldn't care about how we treat people. Oh, we absolutely should care. But those two things aside, it is not our responsibility to manage another's emotions, sacrificing ourselves to make them feel better. Nope. We all have to practice emotional responsibility. Meaning we all have to recognize that the only feelings we have full control over are our own. Other people's emotions...Let it go.
Let It Go...Other People's Decisions
I read a post by one of my Facebook friends sharing her very real feelings about parenting adult kids:
"Let's talk about parenting our adult kids! More proof that the job of being a parent NEVER really ends. The worry and frustration is always there! Do you know how hard it is to KNOW that your child is making the wrong decision about SOMETHING or SOMEONE and having to watch them make that decision. We can give advice all day, but we have to allow them to live their lives! That thing is so hard! You can tell them what to do when they are minors but when they become adults, all you can do is pray and hope and advise!" (Ebonee Danielle, Executive Producer and Host of "Let's Talk About It, Puff" a Momentous AMP Media Gen-X TV).
Did Ebonee hit the nail on the head or what! It does not have to be an adult child. Listen, it is tough to watch any of our loved ones make decisions that are causing them harm. But my dear friends and readers, that is not something we can control. Now I get it. The urge to swoop in and rescue them from themselves is strong. We think it is our responsibility to look out for them and protect them. Someone out there right now is reading this line and vehemently disagreeing. I'll leave you with this. Each and every time you swoop in to the rescue, you rob them of an opportunity to learn and grow from their actions. Yes, my dears. The word rob was intentional and fitting. Other people's decisions...Let it go.
Let It Go...Expecting Perfect Outcomes
You are stressing yourself out trying to achieve some sort of perfect outcome, which is really and truly an unattainable standard in disguise. As we considered together in our article, Perfectionism Is Destroying Your Life: Here's How You Keep Fanning the Flames, "Perfectionism keeps us in an emotional prison by creating a cycle of self-criticism and fear of failure. This cycle can bring about feelings of discontent with one's life, resulting in a host of negative mental and emotional consequences...Striving for perfection and avoiding failure comes with a great emotional cost, including anxiety, fear of failure, and loss of joy." Stop focusing on outcomes and start focusing on your efforts and the journey of personal growth along the way. Expecting perfect outcomes...Let it go.
Let It Go...Other People's Expectations
Who do they want you to be? Is that even who you want to be? Our whole lives, we have been conditioned to live the way someone else wants us to. From an early age we learn the social graces of the dos and the don'ts first from our parents or guardians, then from our extended family, then from the adults in the schools we attend, then from our peer groups, then from our neighborhoods and communities at large. Their messages range from how we should be speaking, how we should be dressing and grooming, to how we should be living. We live our lives based on other people's expectations. In some instances, it is good, right? For instance, it is a societal expectation that we do not steal or kill. These are good things; otherwise lawlessness would break loose and no one would feel any measure of safety, security, or happiness. In other instances, societal expectations may be unhelpful and hazardous to your personal happiness. I mean after all, does it truly matter if you have tattoos or not? Our personal values are our deeply held beliefs and principles that help guide our behavior, choices, and actions. It's the things we stand for. The roadmap for the kind of life we aspire to live. The more our choices are lined up with our values, the better we generally feel. Negative emotions such as guilt, regret, agitation, worry, paranoia, mistrust, fear, and defensiveness are less likely to flood us emotionally when we are living in accordance with our defined values. In other words, the less aligned our lives are with our personal values the more vulnerable we are to becoming emotionally imbalanced and unhappy. Other people's expectations...Let it go.
In the pursuit of happiness, it's easy to get tangled in emotions, decisions, and expectations that aren't truly ours to manage. By holding onto these things, we block ourselves from the peace and joy we seek. Letting go of other people’s emotions, decisions, unrealistic outcomes, and expectations is essential to reclaiming our own sense of well-being. Happiness isn’t something we find by fixing others or striving for perfection; it’s something we cultivate by focusing on our own journey, values, and emotional freedom. The more we release what isn’t ours to carry, the closer we get to living a truly fulfilling life. Please remember though, wherever you are on this wellness journey, do not worry about getting it perfect; just get it going. Until next time. Happy reading!
Now. Let's put some happy little green in our pockets!
Affiliate Links to Follow: |
It pays to have a financial ally. $100 to be exact. If you sign up for Ally using my referral link, you will receive from Ally Bank $100 when you open an eligible account (savings account, spending account, OR self directed trading account through Ally Invest). |
How does a bonus $25 sound? If you sign up for a new SoFi Checking and Savings account using my referral link, SoFi will reward you with $25 directly in your savings account. |
Find savings boring? Hey many people do. I have you covered there also. You can click SoFi Invest and use my link to sign up for a new investing account today! In return SoFi will gift you with $25 worth of stock. |
You've heard a lot about bitcoin. Now you are finally ready to throw your hat in the ring. I have a link for that too. I'm so glad to see Coinbase brought back their referral program! Sign up for Coinbase using my referral link and you will get $10 in bitcoin after making your first trade. |
I've been using Upside for about two years, and I love its simplicity. It's a great app that partners with businesses to offer cash back. While you can find some grocery stores and restaurants, Upside is best known for helping you save on gas. Sign-up with my Upside referral link. Input promo code NT3G8 to get an extra $0.15/gal bonus the first time you make a purchase. |
"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet." ~James Oppenheim
Here at EnvisionCo Blog, we try to keep ads to a minimum making our blog entirely reader-supported. We may feature links on this site for additional informational purposes. From time to time, we may feature other links which are affiliate links (and these will be clearly marked). When you click through an affiliate link on our site and sign up for a service or finalize a purchase, we may earn affiliate commissions. This is of course at no additional cost to you. However, if you like what you see and would like to make a donation to help us keep ads to a minimum, we would greatly appreciate it! Nothing fancy. We accept the price of a cup coffee with as much gratitude as we would the price of a tank of gas!
Kommentare