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Now that we are coming down off the Thanksgiving high, how are you? For many, the weekend is done and tomorrow signifies getting back to the daily grind, hustle, and bustle. Back to deadlines. Back to notifications. Back to endless list of to-dos often leave us all feeling overwhelmed and out of sync with ourselves. Then add in the fact that we get to relive another upcoming holiday season (Christmas is in 24 days!), people are really feeling the rush and stress of the season. This blog article, I will not hold you long. We will jump right into 4 areas or habits to let go of for a less stressful holiday season and a less stressful life.
The Joneses: Who are they and Why Keep up with Them?
Seeing others seemingly have it all can foster feelings of envy and resentment, which can negatively impact your relationships and overall well-being. And before you protest, listen, you are only human. It is a very human thing to see how life is going for others and compare it to how life is panning out for you. When you evaluate that your end of the life deal isn't measuring up to what you see in your neighborhood, school, workplace, or social media haunts, it can often does evoke negative feelings. Before long that spirit of competition that may lead you to give in to the pressure to keep up with the latest trinkets, trips, and treats. This constant pressure to keep up with the Joneses ultimately leads to putting a strain on your budget and potentially leading to debt. Ask yourself who are the Joneses in your life and why is it that you feel the need to keep up with them? Then let that habit go it does nothing for your wallet and nothing for managing the stress in your life. Let it go.
Mental Multi-tasking: The Gymnastics That You Need to Stop
Multi-tasking is something we tend to wear like it is a badge of honor. How many times have you completed a resume or were at a job interview and listed multi-tasking as a personal skill that you have that would make you the perfect fit for the job? Yeah. I thought so. But here are some hard, cold truths about the myth of multi-tasking. According to neuroscientist Earl Miller of MIT, our brains aren't designed for multitasking. Instead, we rapidly switch between tasks, reducing our overall efficiency and focus. It's kind of like trying to juggle too many balls at once! Even though it feels like we're getting a lot done by multitasking, the truth is, we actually end up working less efficiently. What's more, multi-tasking can lead to a surge in stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, which can overload your brain, making it harder to think clearly. Brain fog much? For more on the science of the myth that is multi-tasking, check out the article, "Why the Modern World is Bad for your Brain." Multi-tasking is mostly effective only for short periods of time and usually with tasks that are habitual or routine (think brushing teeth while listening to radio or news). Anything else is a mental gymnastics exercise does nothing for your overall productivity and efficiency thus only serving to increase the stress in your brain not just in your life. Let it go.
Overcommitting: Are You a Yes Person?
This one is a two for the price of one combo. When I evaluate my personal reasons that I overcommitted myself to saying yes, there were two habits that were the culprit to this very exhausting behavior-- people pleasing and FOMO (fear of missing out). Even though it did not seem like too big of a deal at the time, I began to learn that over time, saying yes too often was a recipe for stress and my ultimate burnout. Overcommitting robbed me of my energy. I often found myself feeling stretched thin, alone, and resenting others of their free time and lack of concern for me even though I was the one responsible for agreeing to all the various commitments I had put onto my own plate. How about you? Is your schedule packed to the absolute brim? Do you find you have little time for rest, reflection, (ahem reading your favorite EnvisionCo Blog), or doing the other things in life that truly bring you peace and joy? If you are in anyway nodding your head in agreement, maybe it is time you mastered the art of a mindful no. Before agreeing to something, asking yourself the following:
Does this align with my priorities?
Is this something I truly want to do?
What will I have to give up or sacrifice in order to say yes?
Overcommitting does nothing for your likeability or soothing the fear of missed opportunities. It only serves to increase your resentment of others and increase your stress levels. Let it go.
Constantly Seeking Validation: Who Are You Trying to Impress?
Humans are social beings. That said, we tend to all lean towards wanting to be liked, appreciated, and recognized. That's normal human behavior. The issue arises when we constantly look to others for approval. Back to our previous habit of overcommitting, the constant need for validation can lead to us overextending ourselves and people pleasing. Instead of making decisions based on our priorities, our values, our wants, and our needs, we instead make decisions based on what we imagine will please others. Unfortunately, when we live life in this manner, we hand over the control of our happiness and our self-worth to someone else. No bueno. When we let go of the very unhealthy habit of needing to impress, we open ourselves up to the possibility of the freedom to live authentically. Constantly seeking validation does nothing for your likeability nor will it bring you any measure of inner peace. It only serves to increase your stress when other people's approval doesn't come or happen the way you think it should. Let it go.
What’s one habit you’re letting go of this holiday season? Drop it in the comments! 💬
Society today makes very few allowances for us to live a more slowed down lifestyle of self-reflection. Though we may love to be able to step back, simplify, and savor each of life's precious moments, the reality for many of us is that we are juggling commitments and doing our best to remain relevant and agreeable. The emotional discomfort of being "other" is a hard pill for many of us to swallow and we develop habits to survive this discomfort. Unfortunately, these habits in the long run, do nothing but increase our dissatisfaction and increase our stress. As we rush through the holiday season and rush towards the ending of another year, let’s pause and reflect. By letting go of habits that drain our energy and peace of mind, we can truly enjoy this special time. By letting go of habits like keeping up with the Joneses, multitasking, overcommitting, and seeking constant validation, we can reduce stress and cultivate a more peaceful and fulfilling life. It's okay to say no, to take breaks, and to prioritize your own needs. Please remember though, wherever you are on this wellness journey, do not worry about getting it perfect; just get it going. Until next time. Happy reading!
Now. Here's to embracing the habit of delving into savings and receiving some extra cash.
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"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." ~Aristotle
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Definitely overcommitting myself!