As a disclaimer, EnvisionCo Blog is reader-supported. Some links on this site are for additional informational purposes whereas some others are affiliate links (don't worry, these will be clearly marked as such). When you click through an affiliate link on our site and sign-up for a service or finalize a purchase, we may earn affiliate commissions. This of course is at no additional cost to you. Additionally, EnvisionCo Blog is for informational and educational purposes only and is in no way intended to be a substitute for financial advice by a registered certified financial planner, medical advice by a qualified physician, or therapy by a trained mental health professional.
Have you discovered yourself? I don't mean you the child, you the sibling, you the parent, you the aunt or uncle, you the spouse or partner, you the professional. I mean you. The real you. The you deep down inside before life tainted you. The you deep down inside before society (secular and religious) dictated to you what you should be doing more of or less of. Have you discovered that person?
Many of us are wandering through life achieving more than we could have dreamed possible. Checklists ticked, goals smashed – the whole nine yards. Others around us celebrate us; they may even hail us as the gold standard of what success should look like. What more could you want? And yet. Even with all that success, there still mysteriously can be that nagging feeling, a void that no achievement could fill. And before long we are questioning. Questioning our status. Questioning why all of the impossible that we have achieved doesn't feel worth it. Questioning who we really are and who we actually want to be.
This is usually when people reach out to me for coaching. They recognize that they have done so much for their families, their jobs, their communities and yet they feel unhappy. They feel unfulfilled. Each day, they are getting up and just going through the motions. They aren't even sure if the life they are currently living is even the one they dreamed of when they were young, free, untainted by expectations and responsibility. This is when they reach out sharing that they want to find themselves again.
Journey to a Happier, Healthier You
We all reach a point in life where we recognize that we have spent so much of our time and energy pouring into and prioritizing other people, that our own emotional cups are empty. I have been there. My whole life, I focused on pouring into and upbuilding those around me. When I decided to enter the behavioral health field over a decade ago, I had big goals for myself. I wanted to be a masterful therapist with my own practice because forget that whole working for someone else scam. And I set out and accomplished all the things needed to make this happen. I got my bachelors in psychology. Then went on to get my masters in counseling and psychology. Copped two certifications. A license. Heck I even went out and trained in coaching, twice. The feedback I was getting from counseling and coaching clients alike was positive. And yet.... I still had not reached my fullest potential because an unhealthy habit crept in of putting my happiness to the bottom of the list. That's when I realized I needed to prioritize me. I needed to fill my own cup before I could keep pouring into others. So, I embarked on a personal journey of self-discovery and healing. And let me tell you, it's been quite the adventure. Today's article, I will share with you how I got myself back on track and extinguished the fire of the burnout that was taking over so that I could embrace bliss and fulfillment in the careers that I love while also rediscovering the real me.
Mindfulness
Have you ever found yourself replaying past conversations in your mind? Or trying to track what may happen in the future? Analyzing is an essential ingredient to being a high achiever. Yet this constant type of distraction can and often will rob you of your happiness. Learning to integrate mindfulness into your daily routine can help you press pause on the chaos of life and just being present. Do you hear the birds chirping? Do you feel the warmth of the sun on your skin? Do you really taste that morning coffee you can't live without? Mindfulness encourages us to slow down and actually appreciate life more. Practicing mindfulness regularly can help reduce stress levels and reconnect more with yourself.
Tip: Start small. You would be absolutely amazed at the progress and growth you will make just by dedicating as few as 5 minutes each day to mindfulness practice. Find yourself a quiet, comfortable spot. Then close your eyes and focus on nothing but your breathing. Just notice how the air feels as it enters and leaves your body. What if my mind starts to wander? Don't worry. It will. And when it does, simply gently bring it back to your breath. |
Gratitude Journaling
I have lost count of how many times I have mentioned gratitude journal in my EnvisionCo Blog articles. I began the practice of gratitude journaling on August 31, 2019. Every night before I go to bed, I jot down as many things as I can think of that I'm grateful for. I cannot describe to you the intense feeling of bliss I feel when I recognize just how abundantly blessed and prosperous through the love and support from my friends and family. And of course, let's not forget those little everyday miracles that sometimes get overlooked in the grand scheme of things. Regularly acknowledging what I'm grateful for has shifted my perspective and lead to a more optimistic outlook. Gratitude journaling is a simple practice, but it's a powerful reminder that even on the toughest days, there's always something to appreciate. Those things we find ourselves appreciating over and over again about ourselves and others hold the key to who we really are.
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Digital Detox
The beeping and buzzing of our phones and tablets. The humming of copy machines and computers. We're all addicted to our devices, aren't we? We are all plugged in. Don't believe me? Quick question. How far away from you is your phone right now? Your tablet? Your computer? Your TV? How many of those devices currently have the alerts turned off? Exactly. And the crazy thing is if you really think about it, life really has set us up to have an overattachment to our devices. We are at a point in society where many of us have to have them to fulfill our working obligations. And once we are done working those 40+ hours per week, if we are going to have any social life, we end up using them to keep in touch with friends and family who live near and far. This much connectedness can produce everything from sleep issues, impaired hearing, to agitation and stress related cardiovascular symptoms. It also does nothing to help us discover who we truly are because we are bombarded with society's messages of who we should be, what we should look like, what we should be thinking. A digital detox may be the one thing you need to help you feel more present and peaceful and more yourself.
Tip: You get to choose. Set a specific time each day for a digital detox. Whether it is during your morning cup of coffee or tea, during your lunch break, or in the evening before you go to bed, carve out some time to put the devices away. Find another relaxing activity that does not involve screens. You can read a book, go for a walk, or simply meditate and enjoy the silence. |
Relationship Detox
Sometimes, the people closest to us can be the most toxic. They drain us. They demean us. They make us feel unhappy. The relationships we have with them cause us more harm than good. We often hold on, thinking that things will change or that we can fix them. But sometimes, some relationships are just toxic and no amount of effort we put in is going to change that. In fact the more we pour into them, the more we lose ourselves. This said, sometimes we have to make some tough choices. Loving people from a distance is tough but sometimes necessary for your mental and emotional wellbeing. Once their negative energy is no longer overshadowing us, we can finally be open to discovering our truest selves.
Tip: Letting go of familiarity is hard. This is one reason why we stay too long in toxic relationships. Take a good look at your relationships. Have you noticed any that leave you consistently drained, unhappy, or stressed? Life is too short to surround yourself with anything but people who lift you up, motivate you, and make you feel good about yourself. If you have to, write out a pros and cons list. Do the cons outweigh the pros? If so, it might be time to let them go. |
Lifelong Learning
I can recall as soon as I was done with formal education, the elation of the thought, "I will never have to study again!" The truth is many of us feel this way as the stringent routine of formal education can be exhausting. However, the brain is just like a muscle. If you do not exercise it, it won't grow but will atrophy (wasting away or degeneration of cells). The way to combat this is to continue learning, yes just for the sake of learning. What I did not know back then that I do know now is that in the counseling and coaching world, there are built in buffers to help keep me firmly grounded in the reality that I should always be learning. Real-estate, insurance, doctors, and other similar professional facing careers have built in systems too. They call them continuing education units (CEUs). It reminds us that our education in our field did not stop just because we got that piece of paper (degree). Our fields grow and change. New discoveries are made leading to the need for an update in our operational procedures. I love learning new things. It keeps my mind sharp and keeps me excited about life. Whether it's a new skill or a fascinating subject, there's always something to explore.
Tip: Even if you are not in a career that requires this sort of ongoing study, find something to study anyway. Research for research's sake. Read for reading's sake. Watch informational podcasts. Learn a new word a day. Learn a new language. Attend an event on a special interest topic i.e. gardening, sewing, canning, painting, music, finances. |
In life, it’s easy to get caught up in the roles and responsibilities we wear like armor—child, parent, professional. But beneath all of that, there is you. The real, untainted you. The person that existed before life layered on expectations. Rediscovering yourself isn’t just a journey; it’s an act of self-love, a reconnection to the essence of who you truly are. It's about peeling back the layers of societal expectations and societal messages to uncover the authentic you. By embracing mindfulness, gratitude, detaching from toxic influences, and continuing to learn, you can fill your own cup and live a more authentic, fulfilling life. Remember, it’s never too late to choose you. So, take a deep breath, let go of the noise, and embark on the adventure of finding your true self. But please remember that wherever you are on this wellness journey, do not worry about getting it perfect; just get it going. Until next time. Happy reading!
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"True bliss is not in striving for more, but in appreciating the now." ~Eckhart Tolle
Here at EnvisionCo Blog, we try to keep ads to a minimum making our blog entirely reader-supported. We may feature links on this site for additional informational purposes. From time to time, we may feature other links which are affiliate links (and these will be clearly marked). When you click through an affiliate link on our site and sign up for a service or finalize a purchase, we may earn affiliate commissions. This is of course at no additional cost to you. However, if you like what you see and would like to make a donation to help us keep ads to a minimum, we would greatly appreciate it! Nothing fancy. We accept the price of a cup coffee with as much gratitude as we would the price of a tank of gas!
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