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Ever find yourself wondering if your "emotional radar" is broken? Like, are you actually too sensitive, or are other people just... well, not great? We've all been there, questioning whether our feelings are valid or if we’re just “making a big deal out of nothing.” The truth is emotions are not the problem. What is a problem is when others consistently downplay, dismiss, or mock your feelings, making you second-guess your own experiences and boundaries. Emotional awareness isn’t a weakness, it’s a strength. Healthy boundaries aren’t just about saying “no” more often. Healthy boundaries are about self-respect, plain and simple. When you let people treat you in ways you don't like, you're telling them it's okay. That's a recipe for feeling drained, unappreciated, and angry. Setting boundaries isn't about being mean; it's about knowing what you deserve. If you're tolerating behaviors that make you unhappy, your boundaries are weak and need to be addressed. So, when is the last time you have done a boundary check? In this article, we will explore 4 questions to ask yourself to test the strength of your boundaries.
Do People Often Dismiss My Feelings?
"You're overreacting," and "You're too sensitive." The manner in which these two phrases have become weaponized against other people is almost criminal. In case no one has told you this your feelings are valid, even if other people do not understand them. "You're overreacting," and "You're too sensitive," create a power imbalance where your perception is deemed incorrect, and erode your self-trust by making you question your own judgment. By tolerating dismissal, you inadvertently teach others that ignoring your emotions is acceptable. Hey, no one should be ignoring your emotions, not even you. Your feelings carry important information about your needs and are a normal part of the human experience. Therefore, it's crucial to prioritize relationships where your feelings are acknowledged and respected, even amidst disagreement, reinforcing that you deserve to be heard and understood.
Do People Make Their Feelings My Burdens?
I think it is safe to say that we can all agree it's crucial to prioritize relationships where your feelings are acknowledged and respected. That being said, it's equally essential to recognize the distinction between supportive care and bearing undue emotional weight. Caring about other people is a beautiful thing. However, there is a huge difference between being supportive and carrying emotional burdens that are not yours to hold. You are not obligated to resolve their challenges or guarantee their perpetual happiness. Sacrificing your own well-being to maintain a fragile peace is unsustainable and unhealthy. Genuine relationships foster an environment where both individuals can navigate their emotional experiences without imposing blame or pressure. And vice versa. Thought you should aim for supportive relationships, it is no one's job or duty to carry your burdens either.
Have My Boundaries Become the Punchline of a Bad Joke?
"Relax, I'm only kidding," or "Can't you take a joke?" Nope. I sure can't. Respect should never be disguised as humor. This tactic, often used to test limits, allows the perpetrator to inflict emotional pain while avoiding accountability. Jokes shouldn't make you feel uncomfortable or disrespected. By framing their actions as harmless humor, they shift blame onto you. Consistent boundary violations followed by dismissive laughter reveal a pattern of manipulation. You have the right to assert your boundaries and refuse to tolerate "jokes" that leave you feeling diminished or disrespected. In essence, prioritizing your emotional well-being means recognizing the validity of your feelings, setting firm boundaries, and refusing to accept disrespect, even when disguised as humor.
Are their apologies truly sincere, or just lip service?
"I'm sorry." It is astounding how disarming this phrase can be. Yet the truth is, “I’m sorry” loses its meaning when it’s not followed by action. We often cling to the hope that an apology signifies remorse and a commitment to improvement. There's a natural inclination to believe that words, especially those of contrition, carry weight and promise a better future. This highlights a common experience: the tendency to overlook recurring patterns of harmful behavior in favor of believing in the sincerity of an apology. This can stem from a desire to maintain the relationship, a fear of confrontation, or a genuine hope that the person will change. However, repeatedly accepting apologies without corresponding action can trap us in a cycle of emotional distress. True value is shown through actions, not just words. You don't have to forgive someone who consistently disrespects your boundaries. Prioritize your well-being and recognize that consistent behavior trumps empty apologies.
What do you think? Do you have any other questions you'd add to this list? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below. Honoring your emotions means recognizing when they’re being dismissed, manipulated, or met with insincere apologies. You deserve relationships that acknowledge your feelings and boundaries, not ones that make you feel like a burden for expressing them. While it’s important to support others, it’s just as vital to protect your own emotional well-being. At the end of the day, mutual respect and understanding should be the foundation of any healthy relationship. Don't settle for less. But hey it isn't something that will happen overnight. Please remember that wherever you are on this wellness journey, do not worry about getting it perfect; just get it going. Until next time. Happy reading!
Speaking of boundaries, make it your personal financial boundary to yourself to no longer rely on one income source....
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“Personal boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” ~Prentis Hemphill
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